Wednesday, February 22 2012
10 drinks REAL men don’t order
No.10: A drink with a name you can't pronounce
"A man should never order a drink he can't pronounce."
If you're putting on airs by ordering something, you're likely to be found out. If you're the kind of guy who likes to try adventurous new drinks, good for you -- just figure out how to pronounce your order before you tell it to the bartender.
No.9: Malibu & Diet Coke
Malibu, as a rule, is a horrible beverage. Diet Coke, moreover, is a soda for weight-conscious administrative assistants. The two together are like a typhoon of emasculation. If you absolutely must, yes, have your girlfriend order it for you.
No.8: Fuzzy Navel
Peach Schnapps: Not suitable for drinking after high school.
No.7: Non-martini "tini"
Anything ending in "tini" that is not a martini.
A few years ago, the martini craze spawned an ungodly swarm of "tini" cocktails that have no business associating themselves with the classic beverage. Stick with the classic or avoid martini glasses altogether.
No.6: "What she's having."
Unless your date is having a Scotch on the rocks -- and if she is, you've probably found a keeper -- order your own thing.
No.5: Whatever you want
"Being a man is about doing what you want... Drink whatever (you) like... and don't give a thing about what others say."
There's a case to be made that a man truly comfortable with himself can sip whatever drink he pleases, all while wearing a pink shirt and driving shoes without socks. Most of us aren't that guy, but he's out there, and he's drinking a Bay Breeze. And liking it.
No.4: Sex on the Beach
The favorite drink of over-served sorority girls the world over, Sex on the Beach has none of the associated pleasures of its namesake. Also, it's a gross color. If you must drink something along these lines, consider the slightly retro Tequila Sunrise -- although that's pushing your luck.
No.3: Any Alcopop
Alcoholic sodas are not only deeply unmanly, but they're for lazy people who can't even bother to mix their own drinks. In this age of brilliant mixology, these convenience-store travesties are even more inexcusable.
No.2: Appletini
"'Here's your Appletini, lady.' Need I say more?"
If it ends in -tini, there's only one thing it's supposed to be. We don't care whether you make your martini with vodka or gin, just don't make it with Apple Pucker.
*** No.1: Cosmopolitan***
"Never, ever order a Cosmo."
We have respect for the Cosmo for having risen to the pinnacle of girls-night-out drinks, and we recognize that it is a fundamentally sound cocktail. But leave it to the ladies. Cosmos go down a little too easy for comfort. If you're looking for a reddish cocktail served in a martini glass, order yourself a Manhattan and toast yourself for being a man.
Ladies… The 7 worst things you could say to your husband… and probably do
1. I do everything around here!—It sure feels that way but ask yourself this: Are you the one unclogging the garbage disposal or mowing the lawn? If you answered yes, then you're allowed to use this phrase forever and ever.
2. You're never here!--He's probably never there because he's busy providing for your family. Give your husband a break.
3. Stop! You're doing it wrong!--Husbands are damned if they do, and damned if they don't. So what if he's doing wrong? At least he's doing it.
4. Why do I always have to ask for your help?--Because you do. The end.
5. I'm not your mother!---Your husband may need some caring for but guess what? He's a happier and better man because of you.
6. You just don't get it!--Poor husbands. They really get the poo slung at 'em sometimes (and not just by their kids). They know how hard we work, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.
7. I can't take it anymore!--Men don't know what to do with this information. Are they supposed to hug you? Run and hide? Deep breath. Calm down. Be specific about what's bothering you.
Tuesday, February 21 2012
Husbands and wives take note: If Valentine's Day didn't go so well, your mate might go looking elsewhere for a little romance and appreciation.
The CEO of Ashley Madison said, "The day after Valentine's Day is one of our biggest days of the year. People are disappointed by their spouses' lack of effort, and they feel especially undervalued. Certain days of the year act as litmus tests for many people in relationships."
Websites designed to facilitate cheating appear to be thriving. A sociologist said, "People are going to cheat regardless of whether Ashley Madison is there or not. There's a bigger social issue going on — people aren't taking care of their marriages."
Top 10 U.S. cities that use Ashley Madison
Washington, D.C.
San Antonio, Texas
Phoenix
Salt Lake City
Oklahoma City, Okla.
Pittsburgh
Boston
Chicago
Dallas
Orlando, Fla
Here are 10 things business owners wish they could say to employees:
-- I care about whether you like me. I want you to like me. When I come off like a hard-ass who doesn't care about your opinion of me, it's an act. My business is an extension of myself. I want you to like it. And me.
-- I don't think I know everything. A few people stepped in, without being asked, and made a huge difference in my professional life. I will always be grateful to them. I don't offer you advice because I think I'm all knowing or all-powerful. I see something special in you, and I'm repaying the debt I owe to the people who helped me.
-- I think it's great when you're having fun. You don't have to lower your voice and pretend to be working hard when I walk by. I know it's possible to work hard and have a little fun at the same time. Before I got all serious, I used to work that way.
When you enjoy what you do, it makes me feel a little better about my company and myself. I get to feel like I've created something more than just a business.
-- I want to pay you more. I would love to be the employer of choice in the industry or the area. I can't, mostly due to financial constraints but partly because the risks I've taken require a reasonable reward. If I go out of business tomorrow, you lose your job. That's terrible, I know. But I lose my business, my investment, my credit, my house… sometimes I lose everything.
Someday, when you start your business, I promise you'll understand.
-- I want you to work here forever. Job-hopping may be a fact of business life, but as an owner it's a fact I hate. I don't see you as a disposable part. When you leave, it hurts. A part of me feels like I've failed.
I want to own the kind of business people hope to retire from.
-- Sales don't appear by magic. I know you despise filling certain types of orders. They're aggravating, they cause you to fall behind… they're a pain. You wish we would sell other work. Unfortunately (from your point of view at least) sometimes the orders that take the most time are actually the most profitable.
And even if they aren't, sometimes those orders are the only thing we can sell.
Sometimes I even take terrible work because it's the only way to keep the lights on.
-- I would love to turn you loose. You can't stand to be micromanaged. That's good because I hate micromanaging. But freedom is earned, not given. Show me you can fly on your own and I'll gladly focus on something or someone else.
In fact, if you feel I'm micromanaging you, step forward. Say, "Jeff, I can tell you don't quite trust me to handle this well. I understand, so I'm going to prove you can trust me."
Do it and I'll get off your back and respect you even more.
-- I notice when others don't pull their weight. I'm not blind. But I won't discipline those individuals in front of you. No employees, no matter how poorly they perform, loses their right to confidentiality and privacy.
And sometimes I won't discipline them at all, because occasionally more is going on than you know. You wouldn't realize that, though, because oftentimes…
-- There are things I just can't tell you. Even though I would love to, and even though you and I have become friends.
-- Ownership is the smorgasbord of insecurity. I worry about sales. I worry about costs. I worry about facilities and employees and vendors and customers and… you name it, I worry about it.
So occasionally I'm snappy. Occasionally I'm distracted. Occasionally I'm tense and irritable and short-tempered. It's not your fault. I'm just worried.
More than anything, I'm worried about whether I can fulfill the trust you placed in me as your employer.
